some assembly required

I feel like such a fraud. I have so many different pieces in place and all I need is the glue to hold it together. I'm low on motivation, and that happens to be the thing that holds it well. I've been letting things go and I really need to take control back. I need short term goals.

I don't hate my job, but I would not mind doing something entirely different. I have not found my calling yet it seems. Shuffling paper is not what I live for. I ended up tossing about 1100 documents today. That's about 1500 pages I went through. I listened to the radio and plowed through it. Amazingly I still have another box to go.

I understands that office jobs pays the bills that will come inevitably. I just don't feel like I'm in the right office. I don't hate my job at all, but the down time recently has been killing me. The whole idea of having to find something to do. I feel so wasteful.

I did not lose any weight compared to last week. But considering I gain back a bit last week, I am stepping into the wrong direction. I can do it. I just don't feel like it. Once again I feel like I'm doing this for other people and it does not sit well with me.

I'm sick of doing things to please other people. That being people around me. I just feel like I'm holding back myself because I need to please other people. Meanwhile I can not figure out what makes me happy. I just feel like I'm back to pieces, like I was before.