Sunday, August 30, 2009
long weekends
This is harder then I thought. I am one of those people who thrives when there is a structured schedule. I had thought long weekends would be great. A time to relax and get things done. At times I just feel abandoned. Maybe I'm just conditioned that way. I run out of things I actually want to do, it's a bit shocking. There are things I want to do, but not many by myself.
gypsy
I was watching PBS last night and the documentary about the relationship between New Orleans style of jazz and French jazz was on. I finally found the label I have been looking for all these years: gypsy jazz. Thank you Django Reinhardt. I've been listening to Pandora most of the day. I don't think I will ever get tired of this music. My mind wandered back to Paris. I don't know when I will be back, but I know for sure I will.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
somewhat groggy
There was a news report a couple of weeks ago talking about the benefits of napping. I think it's grossly misrepresented in the way it was reported. It's great when it's in the middle of a work day when you're stressed and overloaded. Not like just now when I've done virtually nothing in the morning and slept from 2 to 5:30. Now I just feel parched and well, groggy. I don't remember craving and enjoying a peach Snapple so much in a long while.
Sometimes going to the farmer's market makes me want to live off the land. I got a good size bag of zucchini blossom today for a buck. Half the amount of that in a prissy take-out box would have cost me something like five bucks in Mountain View. While I was looking for recipes I found it to be an easy produce to grow. Makes me want to plant it in the garden. The tomato plants we planted on the side of our yard has grown into a monstrous hedge. It's strange to us how large those plants can grow since my previous experiences involved plant boxes, five inch plants, and one full grown tomato that I eventually forgot to sample. This hedge is almost as tall as me, yield several pounds of yellow cherry tomato, and is still producing more late into the summer. It has been quite a learning experience in our first growing season. I haven't had the guts to mess with the compost. It'll be a while until I figure that one out.
Sometimes going to the farmer's market makes me want to live off the land. I got a good size bag of zucchini blossom today for a buck. Half the amount of that in a prissy take-out box would have cost me something like five bucks in Mountain View. While I was looking for recipes I found it to be an easy produce to grow. Makes me want to plant it in the garden. The tomato plants we planted on the side of our yard has grown into a monstrous hedge. It's strange to us how large those plants can grow since my previous experiences involved plant boxes, five inch plants, and one full grown tomato that I eventually forgot to sample. This hedge is almost as tall as me, yield several pounds of yellow cherry tomato, and is still producing more late into the summer. It has been quite a learning experience in our first growing season. I haven't had the guts to mess with the compost. It'll be a while until I figure that one out.
Friday, August 14, 2009
moving forward
The last couple of weeks had been somewhat challenging. It's never easy to start a new job and adjust my schedule. I have more free time now and yet I somehow feel like it's not enough.
I always thought when I have more time to myself I will get more accomplished. It's not the case yet. Maybe I need to have a few more weeks to pass by before I can really arrange myself in that way. I just spend my spare time doing more useless things.
I meant to write more. I still have all these things rattling around my head and when it comes time to putting them down they have gone. I sat down with my moleskine a couple of nights ago and I couldn't put down more then three lines. It was sad really. I had a new pen and everything. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I am going to do something. I get everything primed and ready then lose interest in it entirely. I'm aiming to do much less of that. I've been looking into the things I would like to do. These are the things I want to be a fixture in my website.
I have had the idea of making my own website for the longest time. My problem has always been not having content. Looking back at all the things I have managed to put on the interweb, I think I have more then enough. Sometimes I just can't plan what I am going to do next. All I can do is to have a good idea and general direction of where I want to be. I have this website idea. I bought the domain I think three years ago. I have countless books and tools to help me build this thing and yet my biggest problem was not knowing what I want to put in it at the first place.
I can write. I want to write. I need help in nudging myself into writing something interesting. What is interesting to me might not be interesting to other people. I used to think I need to find that one thing that interests other people. I want to have a lot of people looking at my work. Now I understand that it really doesn't matter. I only need one person to be interested in my contents. I need to have the interest in the things myself. I'm not doing this to disseminate knowledge and ideas. I'm doing this to just showcase myself, to me. Something to make me feel I have accomplished something in my life. I'm worth something.
The thing about my writing is I do it best when I feel passionate about something. I was mad about something a little while back and I think that was my best writing in a while. I push out some ideas in a short span of time. The ideas were clear and concise. I highlighted my emotions at that point. It was a snapshot of the person I was at that momement. It felt good to do it.
I finally realize what would help me write moving forward. I need to feel passionate about myself, my life, my work, my wants, my loves.
A few weeks ago I finalized the broad categories to what I want to be in the website. Which seems like a really small thing. I spent close to a decade thinking about these things and it only took me a few months to finally put it down. It's werid. That whole discovering yourself thing. To probably no ones suprised it took putting it down in writing to figure it out. Putting things into words grounds me. It helps me visualize verbalize what I think is best. Sometimes I wish I had started doing this much earlier in life. I never really imagine how much the written word can help me. I really don't do this enough.
I always thought when I have more time to myself I will get more accomplished. It's not the case yet. Maybe I need to have a few more weeks to pass by before I can really arrange myself in that way. I just spend my spare time doing more useless things.
I meant to write more. I still have all these things rattling around my head and when it comes time to putting them down they have gone. I sat down with my moleskine a couple of nights ago and I couldn't put down more then three lines. It was sad really. I had a new pen and everything. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I am going to do something. I get everything primed and ready then lose interest in it entirely. I'm aiming to do much less of that. I've been looking into the things I would like to do. These are the things I want to be a fixture in my website.
I have had the idea of making my own website for the longest time. My problem has always been not having content. Looking back at all the things I have managed to put on the interweb, I think I have more then enough. Sometimes I just can't plan what I am going to do next. All I can do is to have a good idea and general direction of where I want to be. I have this website idea. I bought the domain I think three years ago. I have countless books and tools to help me build this thing and yet my biggest problem was not knowing what I want to put in it at the first place.
I can write. I want to write. I need help in nudging myself into writing something interesting. What is interesting to me might not be interesting to other people. I used to think I need to find that one thing that interests other people. I want to have a lot of people looking at my work. Now I understand that it really doesn't matter. I only need one person to be interested in my contents. I need to have the interest in the things myself. I'm not doing this to disseminate knowledge and ideas. I'm doing this to just showcase myself, to me. Something to make me feel I have accomplished something in my life. I'm worth something.
The thing about my writing is I do it best when I feel passionate about something. I was mad about something a little while back and I think that was my best writing in a while. I push out some ideas in a short span of time. The ideas were clear and concise. I highlighted my emotions at that point. It was a snapshot of the person I was at that momement. It felt good to do it.
I finally realize what would help me write moving forward. I need to feel passionate about myself, my life, my work, my wants, my loves.
A few weeks ago I finalized the broad categories to what I want to be in the website. Which seems like a really small thing. I spent close to a decade thinking about these things and it only took me a few months to finally put it down. It's werid. That whole discovering yourself thing. To probably no ones suprised it took putting it down in writing to figure it out. Putting things into words grounds me. It helps me visualize verbalize what I think is best. Sometimes I wish I had started doing this much earlier in life. I never really imagine how much the written word can help me. I really don't do this enough.
ramble ramble
Something has been pointed out to me last night that has crossed my mind many many times. When I write as much or little as I do, inevitably I start to ramble. I mean the specific case was not about me, but it's something I have considered before.
When I started blogging every post was basically "hi it's me" "this is what I did with my day" "something interesting happened to me today, or not" "I hate my life". I tend to ramble. I certainly don't have an audience in mind when I write. So I let it out. For me writing is a sort of relief. To let things go. To phrase things the way I want it to sound. I will perhaps read this again in the future and remind myself of what I was thinking at this very moment. I might not even remember what prompted me to write such a thing. But memory is funny like that.
I firmly believe if I don't write things down I am bound to forget it. There are so many things that happened in my short life that I don't remember. The things I remember are the stuff I wrote about. I wrote them down somewhere not to show people how my day was. I like to have it to remind myself what I was thinking. What my state of mind was at the time. Sometimes it can be boring, but that is my life and that's the way I know best how to chronicle it.
As time goes by my point of view changes. I might not look at the same thing the same way again. I might not feel the same way about the same person. Or a different version of the same person for that matter. It reminds me of how I used to be and how I am different now.
When I started blogging every post was basically "hi it's me" "this is what I did with my day" "something interesting happened to me today, or not" "I hate my life". I tend to ramble. I certainly don't have an audience in mind when I write. So I let it out. For me writing is a sort of relief. To let things go. To phrase things the way I want it to sound. I will perhaps read this again in the future and remind myself of what I was thinking at this very moment. I might not even remember what prompted me to write such a thing. But memory is funny like that.
I firmly believe if I don't write things down I am bound to forget it. There are so many things that happened in my short life that I don't remember. The things I remember are the stuff I wrote about. I wrote them down somewhere not to show people how my day was. I like to have it to remind myself what I was thinking. What my state of mind was at the time. Sometimes it can be boring, but that is my life and that's the way I know best how to chronicle it.
As time goes by my point of view changes. I might not look at the same thing the same way again. I might not feel the same way about the same person. Or a different version of the same person for that matter. It reminds me of how I used to be and how I am different now.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
and the adventure rolls on
Another three and a half hours and my second work week comes to an end. "But it's Thursday at 12:30!" you exclaimed. That indeed is true. Jealous yet? I have done more in the past two weeks then I would have done in a month in my previous position. I feel more useful too. I'm always working on something. Hopefully I'm done with the heavy lifting for the time being. I unloaded a while file cabinet and shifted another three in the past two days. That's as much working out as I have done in a while.
One of the great things about this job is that I am not being micromanaged. That is such a change of pace I don't know what to do with myself half the time. I have a to do list. I set my own goals and off I go.
I joined the company gym yesterday. I'll start my regular workouts next week. Jogging for an hour and a half every day after work sounds good to me. I've been feeling heavier and heavier every day. It's not a good feeling. I got a lot of things settled in regards to benefits and stuff. Things are falling into place.
I decided to take a weekend getaway next week. It should be fun.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
my face hurts
I feel like I got punched in the face. Real sunburn is a bitch.
We started the morning off with some fresh waffle and a real bitch of a lady who took a long time to figure out the single cup coffee maker. You're better off rolling out when somebody rolls their eyes at you and say she can handle herself. With that happy thought we piled in the minivan and headed up to the city.
I highly recommend riding cable cars in the morning. The MUNI daily pass is a good deal. I took a ton of great photos. We rode on the cable cars on the two lines. The second time around when we were going from Market to the Wharf I was standing on the front step. Great view, great pictures, and massive sunburn on one side of my face.
We did a massive amount of walking and I'm entirely exhausted. We did head over to the Ferry Building and I got a couple of things of note. Bacon toffee and processed meat in a cone. Boccalone is my little piece of heaven.
I guess that's the highlights. My words really does not do this any justice. I'll need to upload the pictures soon.
We started the morning off with some fresh waffle and a real bitch of a lady who took a long time to figure out the single cup coffee maker. You're better off rolling out when somebody rolls their eyes at you and say she can handle herself. With that happy thought we piled in the minivan and headed up to the city.
I highly recommend riding cable cars in the morning. The MUNI daily pass is a good deal. I took a ton of great photos. We rode on the cable cars on the two lines. The second time around when we were going from Market to the Wharf I was standing on the front step. Great view, great pictures, and massive sunburn on one side of my face.
We did a massive amount of walking and I'm entirely exhausted. We did head over to the Ferry Building and I got a couple of things of note. Bacon toffee and processed meat in a cone. Boccalone is my little piece of heaven.
I guess that's the highlights. My words really does not do this any justice. I'll need to upload the pictures soon.
coastal breeze
It's the morning after my last day and I wake up at 6:30 in the morning in Milbrea. As I step out of the hotel room the smell of the fog hits me. I love how the cool air fill my lungs. It's a nice change of pace from the unrelenting heat of late.
I love to travel and visit places. I'm just not a huge fan of cramming six people in a two room suite with just one bathroom. One can probably imagine how difficult it can be to coordinate in the morning.
I love to travel and visit places. I'm just not a huge fan of cramming six people in a two room suite with just one bathroom. One can probably imagine how difficult it can be to coordinate in the morning.
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